This is my interpretation, helpful views are very appreciated. Recently, words from a friend made me ponder [very very seriously, sampai tak lalu makan, sampai tak lena tidoq, sampai mimpi] and urged my brain to do some homework; having boys as friend. I searched and read some posts and articles regarding this issue. A guy and a girl; could stay as just friend, yet having high potential to turn out to be more than just friend. Not a-shocking-fact-o, yet many of us think that we could survive as just friend. Receiving good-morning-text everyday, happy calls, having high tendency to share life stories; you starting to adapt his life schedule, talking crappies, reminiscing happy moments together, taking pictures together and smiling to yourself and to your mobile phone [dok senyum-senyum kat henpon tiga-tiga sekupang tu]; are signs that we might cross the border of friendship. [Oh nooo~ but I know that I am managing myself to not falling to coupling zone. Couple tu kan haram.] Okay, good news is; alhamdulillah, we still have pure heart that make us realized what's good and what's not. Now lets reflect ourselves; what do we want from the relationship? If friendship, these are five important things we have to care of and I always... always remind myself about intention [if the intention of being friend with guys is for work or discussion, once done with all those things, then there's no more meetings and stuff]. If we're up for a serious relationship; stop collecting sins from the vain sweet charades and promises [atau mungkin terjerat dengan kisah islamic couple], improve ourselves [benda basic like... solat cukup tak? awal waktu ke tak? recite Quran hari2 tak? pastu ada rasa tanggungjawab nak berdikari ataupon masih bergantung kat mak ayah? :)], once dah mampu; start planning for the marriage and doa'. To me, friendship should not be something that burden our dear heart. If we start to feel pain or anxious, then we might be doing something wrong or perhaps, the friendship had goes wrong. Another thing is; I believe, to befriend is not to own, not to change, but together we develop ourselves to be better. Boyfriend? It's complicated. I wanna live happy life; eat ice cream with chocolate chips, lotsa mochi and strawberries! not living the complicated one.. ameen :D.
5 comments:
your words made me wonder. why not? why cant girls and boys be friends? i've heard a lot about friendzones and what not but usually males have that problem. But I think being friends with opposite sex isn't a big issue right?
Thank you for your view :). After some readings, I learnt that it is not very encouraging for guys and girls to befriend as it may lead not only towards more-than-friend feeling or more-than-friend actions. Those might ruin the friendship we have [and we don't want that :)]. Yup, you're right that befriending different gender, perhaps, would not be a big issue, but it's about how we manage the friendship. :)
so you're saying how we do it matters, not if we do it?
Why not we consider both? :). The best is to keep ourselves to always befriend with similar gender, as it won't cause so many troubles such as fitnah and those unsure-lovey-dovey stuff [aren't we agree about that? *wink2* hehe]. But, like me myself, I admit that I have guys as friend... here comes the limitations, prevention and how we manage this kind of friendship. Nevertheless, befriend to the similar gender [as for me, to girls] is always the best option,the most recommended, no doubt. :).I've read a quote before; "Always choose options that bring us close to Allah. InshaAllah, we'll always stay in Islamic path".Feel free to share your view :D!
well said.
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